2005 News and Editorial Archive
Here's where we keep
our old news and editorials after it starts taking up too much room on
the main news page. Just in case there was something you forgot, or if
we did (or didn't) get an editorial prediction or comment
right...monthly forecasts/editorials listed first, or click
here for
old news stories:
December 2005 Feature
Editorial:
Dire
Predictions 2006!
It’s
that time of
year – as Mercury and Mars go direct and
Venus prepares to back her oars, New Year’s resolutions loom
and
future
forecasters don their soothsayer suits to give you the coming
year’s headlines.
From the Times
to the tabloids you’ll see the pundits
opine on coming
trends in
politics, business, marketing, sports, fashion,
celebrities, weather, computers, stocks, movies, you name it. Most of
them even
have some reasonable shred of evidence upon which to launch an educated
opinion.
But
here at
AstroCocktail, on your behalf, we answer to a
higher call. We bring you the coming year direct from our closely-held
contacts within the realms of the generally ineffable, providing a
picture of the future you couldn’t
possibly imagine otherwise. And, as we have noted in the last few
months,
that’s been uncomfortably accurate of late. So here we go
with a
culled
selection of the coming year’s events, as depicted by our
below-referenced
reliable sources [click on the blue links for full stories].
Predictors
this year
arise from four main categories:
individual experts, general prophecies, considered consensus, and
general
freelance lunacy:
Individual
outlooks.
Lots
of astrologers
(like
us) have talked about Jupiter and Saturn changes, outer planets, grand
crosses
and the like. You can read that for free lots of places, or you can lay
out
considerable hard cash for the likes of Psychic
Fred
or Brian’s
Prediction
for a more personal, intimate feel, though people
who charge
you that much will probably say anything. But some astrologers will go
on the record for
free and give you more than your money’s worth. Dr.
Turi,
for
instance, utilizes “supernova windows” and eclipses
to
formulate every sort of
dire prediction for next year, thanks mostly to cosmic blasts from
outer
space…and he already predicted everything
awful that
occurred in 2005,
even things that didn’t seem
to happen but actually did,
in secret…India’s Sri
Kalki Bhagavan is
betting on the mother of all tsunamis, which will cover even the high
Himalayas, leaving India an island – but, on the positive
side,
preventing a
war with Pakistan. Dr.
Barry
Warmkessel,
however,
is still content
with the
first of a series of comets that will strike earth this year, this
set specifically stretching from France to Israel.
General
prophecies. Lots
of these have been
around
for a long time, many based on scripture or revelations from aliens or
the
spirit world, but the latest 2006-specific cataclysms include Revelation
13,
which yet again has us all going to hell in a handcart next year, no
escaping
it. Lots of astrology here, revealing Satanic Muslims lurking behind
every bush
and another Clinton in the White House. Disasters all? New
Prophecy
has
actually backed off, however, saying they “now
believe that
the original August 2006
dating
for a Russian face-off with NATO and the US
was premature.” But nevertheless, New York City will get
nuked by
2008, and
every sort of war and rumor of war is laid out at length. Then,
there's an
apologetic Canadian grab-bag
that offers marginal hope, based on previous failures. The
spiritual aliens on Sirius
11
have relatively kinder things to say, with their channeled
mouthpiece Kirael suggesting all kinds of pretty ordinary (by
comparison)
happenings “in this dimension” that mass
consciousness
could prevent, like
storms, floods, and sinister capitalist plots. That all may be moot,
however,
if the Sun
blows
up soon,
which means we had best get on with evacuating planet
Earth.
Considered
consensus.
This
is the
year’s
newest, and most interesting forward-looking category. It’s
about
amateurs and
professionals getting together and voting on what’s going to
happen, doomside
democracy in action. For fun, you can join in the predictions at the Prophecies Registry,
or you
can tag
onto About.com’s
more secular version of the same. If we’re all still here,
and
you do well,
they promise not to mock you next year. But if you want to get serious
with the
pros, go and check out the Public
Knowledge Exchange,
where professionals of all sorts are
actually
competitively bidding on disasters, in hope to get a better handle on
the
possibilities, as per the 2003 Pentagon experiment spearheaded by Adm.
John M. Poindexter but
shot down by
Congress. If you like a bit
creepier version, you can bet on influenza with the medical pros from University of
Iowa.
It’s all
play money, but then life’s a play, especially when the
world’s coming to an
end and you’re bidding on the finale…
Freelance
lunacy.
And
finally
there’s the cleanup
squad. You could take odds on individual Death
Predictions
’06
along with others who obsessively follow the obits and would like to
cash in betting on who is going to die this year. Or you could drink
lite
with our favorite harmless rumor that New York will see beverages
in a bag
next year, or simply sign up for Toronto’s
legendary rave club
New Year’s Eve bash Predictions
2006, and
just drink. See you there, and maybe find out
what’s really
going to happen…
December 2005 Editorial:
Holiday
Outlook: Fire In The Sky!
We
had no sooner published our November 1 comments about international
astrologers
getting
the usual disaster predictions right on the mark for once, than another
wave of
conflagration hit, this time in France. Ironically focused on
Britain’s Bonfire
Day (Guy Fawkes’ Day), the French lit up right on time
–
though even hapless
FEMA can tell you ‘tis the season
for general arson. But of
course, this was
much more, as looming over it all was the heart of a passing fixed
grand cross
of Sun, Mars, Saturn, and Neptune. We warned you this would be a
grindingly
frustrating fall with retro Mars square Saturn pouring salt in each
other’s
wounds. When the smoldering combination of hot and cold planets got to
be just
too much for everybody, the fanned embers burst into flames, subsiding
only after
the aspect began to pass later in the month.
Is it over? Not entirely. Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn
are holding a tight T-square throughout early December, and the Moon
filling the
cross on Dec. 5 feels tight. It happens at greater length in early
January with
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune making a last slow tangle, with the
Moon punctuating it right after New Year and again mid-month. More
fires? Perhaps,
but ‘tis
not that season anymore. Usually, when the planets put the pressure on,
they
don’t cause the specific damage – events below do, and
according to whatever is
appropriately close to hand. So, it’s winter – look for
cold, exposure and
disease. Of course, as we mused years ago,
since Classical times the world has not seen Neptune pass through
Aquarius
without a major plague, including the Black Death of 1347-48, which
began
with both Neptune and Uranus very
close to
where they are right now. AIDS may
already be
sufficiently filling that bill this time, but keep your homeopath on
call just
in case. We’re not doomsayers, but right now the weather
is really bad
up there, so dress accordingly. And on the positive side, by
Valentine’s all
this will be dispersed and we’ll be back on track, picking up
last summer’s
hopes and moving ahead once again.
November 2005 Editorial:
Listen To Your Astrologer...
If you read our news
and news archives over the last five months, now numbering over a
hundred
articles, you'll notice a lot of dire predictions. Astrologers are
known for
that, and often criticized for alarmist forecasts that don't pan out.
In recent
months, planetary pundits around the world raised warnings about
hurricanes,
floods, earthquakes, and bombings. Ho-hum,
so what else is news? Don't those happen all
the time?
Not
like recently.
It's not been disasters as usual -- it's been really monstrous,
record-breaking
hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and bombings. For once, stargazers of
all
persuasions (Vedic, tropical, sidereal, Chinese) have been on the mark.
Christian fundamentalists have been calling it punishment for our sins
(mostly
sexual), Islamic fundamentalists have been calling it Allah's wrath
against our
arrogance (mostly political), liberals have blamed it on sins against
the Earth
and a self-important, incompetent, and warlike Republican
administration, conservatives
have blamed it on terrorists and liberals (who, oddly, aren’t in
power), and
those with power and money have taken it all the way to the bank while
the rest
of us have taken a licking.
Maybe it’s just
bad
celestial weather, with a lot of mostly helpless and clueless people
stuck out
in a hard rain. If so, it’s been a storm the celestial weather
forecasters have
been predicting accurately, but like with NOAA’s warnings about
hurricane
Katrina, few were listening and even fewer were prepared. Is anyone
listening
now? It’s not over, by any means, so get your foul weather gear
in order. Nasty
climate change doesn’t pick favorites, of course, but how you
choose to behave
in a storm is another thing entirely…
And
of course the news, astrological and otherwise, is
going to be ever more compelling, entertaining, and sometimes downright
amazing,
so keep your eyes on our daily stories from around the world…
October
2005 Editorial:
Shifting Sands, Veering Winds...
This month starts off
with a bang, as Mars goes retrograde
Oct. 1, followed by an annular solar eclipse Oct.3 (at 10 Libra) and
then a
lunar eclipse Oct. 17 (24 Aries/Libra). With Mars glowing bright red in
the
night sky at its closest approach to Earth, it’s a show up above
reflected by
comparably intense operations down here below. We’re not making
bets on
anything new that happens this month, and we’re hedging our
current ones.
Expect surprises and a lot of turnarounds in world affairs and personal
ones,
as well. Operations already underway get bogged down as Mars approaches
the
square to Saturn (gets even more so in November). Staying the course
while
consolidating and redefining resources and options is the preferred,
but
sometimes difficult, strategy. Bailing out under fire is the worst way
to go,
though tactical withdrawals to gain better position can be the heart of
wisdom.
Whether you’re digging out from a hurricane or from the results
of bad personal
or political policies, it’s going to take some hard work, the
willingness to
embrace change, and lots of faith in the world’s innate ability
to rebalance
and move ahead.
September 2005 Editorial:
War God On Warpath...
As
Above: Mars And More Mars.
The talk of the astro-news lately has been much about Mars. Whether
it’s the hoax
about it’s close approach making it bigger than the Moon or dire
predictions of bombings, fires, insurrections, and natural
disasters,
it seems the old warrior god bodes mostly ill. That may be because by
going
retrograde he’s in and out of square with reprobate Saturn for
the next several
months, which gets everybody’s energies frustrated or turned
towards the dark
side. Mix that with eclipse season Oct. 3-17 and you’ve got a
recipe for all
variety of unpredictable and unexpected blindsiding that should keep
the fall
popping for all. Top off your tank before you start, because it may be
on empty
sooner than you think, and with less net mileage under your wheels --
though
not for lack of revving your engine.
So Below: Eyes On The Sky. Look up with care -- the
weather has been
changing, very violent, wet, and windy, from Far East floods to Gulf
Coast catastrophe.
According to some, the planets have been to blame. If the 2003 Mars-Uranus
conjunction
foreshadowed the recent Asian tsunami, the 2005 conjunction
might have Katrina laid on its doorstep. But that almost two-year cycle
has
only just begun, so this may just be the first taste -- expect more of
the
same, perhaps a bit further east, closer to where the last
conjunction’s MC
line lies (see map and earlier editorial in our archives).
And,
the longer after the conjunction, the bigger the effect. The tsunami
was only a
few months from the end of the 2003-05 Mars-Uranus conjunction cycle,
but the
most notable example is Hiroshima/Nagasaki, which occurred only a week
from the end
of the 1943-45 cycle, whose MC line lay directly over Japan. With Mars
continuing its crippling contra-dance with Saturn, the next few months
may see
increasing challenges to patience and fortitude. Our hearts go out to
those on the Gulf Coast who must bear so much of it right now...
August
2005 Editorial:
Above: Dog Days In The
Sky. This August opens with Mercury retrograde
slowing things down (or at least making you pick up those missed
stitches),
Saturn in a new sign (Leo), and Mars racing into a swamp in Taurus. A
swamp,
you say --- bogged down, like in Vietnam and Iraq? Not quite that
protracted,
but the pattern is similar. Mars has just moved into Taurus with a
great,
supporting trine from Venus. Easy,
sexy, instant gratification with immediately tangible results. But then
Mars
(it was square Saturn all along) slows down and goes retro in October,
where it
stays out the year in the sign of its dramatic and successful entrance,
backing, filling, and equivocating before finally making its escape
just after
St. Valentine’s Day (ironic, considering the Venus entry). You
may love the
leap you make now, but you’ll love leaving it behind even more
come February,
when Mars finally gets going again into Gemini. Oct. 2, Dec. 10, and
Ground Hog
Day are pivot points. So, hot deals you hop for this month may require
extrication in the fall. Watch where you’ve stepped…
Below:
Cosmic And Global. After a month or so of
watching astro-news
happen on cell
phones, now the view seems to come from the skies. Once again,
we’re
blaming the ice
ages on our periodic float through the arms of our galaxy.
Meanwhile,
we’re laying
bets on hurricanes in the Atlantic. India, as always, leads the
crowd
because they really care – even when an aging astrologer gets fleeced
by grifters, it makes the headlines. But NASA puts in its two
cents as
it gets sued
by a
Russian astrologer for its comet probe, debunks
Mars rumors, and sights yet another
planet or two that may not really be, well, a planets, whatever
that
means. Astrologers who even distantly might have predicted the London terrorist
bombings
take credit and predict
more mayhem. Meanwhile, more ordinary astrologers go about
their lives breeding
or betting on horses, or continuing to successfully
predict
the vagaries of current
stock market trends. For all of us, it continues to be a
somewhat real
world, above as below…keep checking the dailies below for
more…
July
2005 Editorial:
In
The Sky:
The big news up there is Saturn on July 16th
ending its 2 ½ year trek through Cancer and moving into Leo
for the next 2 ½
years. Depending where those signs fall in your chart, that means
relief
(Cancer) or a time of testing (Leo). That same Saturn sign change
happened most recently in 1976,
1947 (with Pluto),
and 1917 (with Neptune), if you can remember that far back. If you were
born then,
it’s your
Saturn return, quite a big deal. So what’s happened to you in the
intervening
Saturn cycles of 29 ½ years? Later in the month Mercury
does its
latest three-week retrograde stint also in Leo, starting July 23rd,
which slows forward progress and requires reworking and editing your
efforts.
Taken altogether, the month is the beginning of a major shuffle in the
lives of
us earthlings below.
On The Earth: Down here, astrology and astrologers
seem to be cashing in more than ever. In some places, like
astrologer-mad
India, it’s been business as usual, only more so. 100,000
couples getting married on a single auspicious day at their
various
astrologers’ advice is surely a record. In other places, from the
Far East to
Western Europe, astrological advice is sweeping the mobile
phone
market. Now not only can a cell phone tell you where you are, it can
tell you
where you’re at. Analyzing the stars is becoming a fave from
sports to high
finance to weather forecasting, so whether it’s winning the football
pool, a killing in the stock market,
or
just shelter from the storm
you’re looking for, maybe you’d
better have a
consulting astrologer on hand. Everybody’s doing it. And
you’ll see it all here
first, so stay tuned to this page…
June 2005 Editorial:
Dire
Straits, Hold The
Luau
It
is a
common astrological tenet that the places where the exact Mars/Uranus
conjunction happens at the Midheaven (overhead) or rises (on the
eastern
horizon) are where destruction makes the news the most (for the
former)
or violence happens on the ground most regularly (for the
latter) during
the coming two years. We got the last one right on the mark when we
advised
against vacationing in Indonesia or encouraging your government to send
your
kids to Iraq. They were not to be happy places. You can still see that
before-the-fact article here.
The latest
Mar/Uranus conjunction, at 7:53 AM
EDT, May 15, 2005 (10 degrees Pisces) was at the Midheaven on a line
directly
North/South running from Quebec and Maine and the U.S. Northeast
coast
in general down through Haiti, Venezuela/Columbia and the West
Coast of
South America down past the Straits of Magellan. It rose
over
eastern Alaska and Honolulu and as far south as Samoa. So this time it’s
the
Western Hemisphere’s turn to hunker down over the next two
years. What to
look out for? We’re betting on water again, so keep some
high ground and
solid shelter handy if you’re hanging out where the wind blows or
the ocean
rises. At 250 feet above the Long Island Sound, we’re feeling
high and dry, but
long overdue for a solid hurricane…how about you?…
Older
News Articles, newest first, oldest at bottom (some links may have
expired...):
Tangling With
The Stars (New
Scientist) – This year was chock-a-block with hands-on,
interactive
involvement with the sky. As much was going on above as below…
Fortunetelling
In Frisco (San Francisco
Chronicle) – It’s a psychic
smorgasbord by the Bay, stirred by the wonder and angst about what
might come…
Ho-Hum
Predictions 2006 (AFP, Paris)
– From the Oscars and
sports to the stock market, these usual suspects pale beside
2005’s actual
realities…
Psychics
Star On New Year’s Eve (IOL, South
Africa) – After last year’s
predictions fared so well, this year everyone is going to be tuned
in…
Italians
Addicted To Magic (AGI, Italy)
– Magic and astrology’s
popularity has the Prime Minister’s office
concerned…25,000 persons/day, 5
billion Euros/year…
Astrologer
Predicting Higher Car Sales in ’06 (Detroit News)
– He’s also predicting
floods and volcanic eruptions…they’re hard on your car, so
you’ll need a new
one…
17
Planets? (Pioneer Press)
– New planets are becoming a
dime a dozen. With names like Xena, Buffy, and Santa Claus, what does
it all
mean?
Merry
Christmas
To All Christians (MehrNews,
Tehran) – An historical wrap
on the Star of Bethlehem from the Persian home of the
Magi…unless, of course,
they were Indian…
Another
Holy Star Story (IC Cheshire,
UK) – In latest claim,
British astronomer thinks it was Venus and Jupiter in 2 BC, but this
one may
have holes in it, as Herod had already been dead for two years…
Burma
To Fall By April (Los
Angeles Times)
– the same
astrologers who advised the sudden move of the capital now say that
won’t put
off the inevitable…
A
Challenging Year
Ahead (BeliefNet)
– American astrologers chime in
with a slightly rosier picture of tomorrow's troubled skies…
Astrology
In The Classroom (College News)
– Unlike Intelligent
Design, it’s being taught as an integral part of history and
culture, not
revealed science…
Astrology
Career A Reality (Economic Times)
– Forget accounting and
all those other drab possibilities, the sky is the limit, these
days…
Fake
“Dr. Foot” Was No Doctor (Palm Beach Post)
– He said he was
really an astrologer! Oyy, Joel, what were you thinking??!!…
Americans
Believe In It (Harris
Interactive)
– “It” being
astrology, the devil, evolution, reincarnation, and God knows what
else,
depending on your politics…
The
Reading That Relaxes (Asbury Park Press,
AP) – Spas are
finding that a tarot pack and a mudpack work hand in hand…
Science
Predicts (Chicago
Tribune)
– Science’s predictions
are less dire, but on the whole less interesting, perhaps because many
of the
questions being explored aren’t really as fundamental as they
might be…
Another
Mystery
Planetoid Lurks Nearby (New Scientist)
– Named “Buffy,” she's
tilted at 47 degrees from the rest of us. Somehow, these recent add-ons
to the
solar system just don’t seem to have the gravitas planets used
to…
Astrologer
Threesome Linked To Murder (The Citizen)
– It’s a timely Christmas
story – no, it’s the Christmas story. They should
have kept that manger
visit under wraps…
Deck
The Halls (OhmyNews
International)
– Take an ordinary
deck, any deck. Then make up a good story to go with it. A great take.
By the same writer,
try your hand at tea
leaves.
Center
Fielder Nixed By Stars (Newsday)
– Cub fans don’t want to hear
that newly-acquired center fielder Juan Pierre may have some cosmic
obstacles…
Horocopes
Spell Disaster? (Hartford Advocate)
– Oh really,
Alistair, you haven’t seen the beginning of it…
Choosing
Baby’s
Horoscope Means Big Bucks (MedIndia)
– You want a celestial winner
in the crib? It costs “a lot of money…”
Moon
Storms (NASA)
–
The moving border between dark and
light on the Moon is actually a storm front, where a rage of heat meets
the
frigid black and churns the landscape all around…
An
Auspicious C-Section (NewKerala)
– On-time
birthtime a new
trend. Choosing birth operation specifics is “turning
fruitful
for both
astrologers and gynaecologists.”
The
Year Of
The Breakup (Times
Of India)
– So many prominent couples
have split up this year, astrologers are blaming it on the stars. Nick
and
Jessica, take note…
The Rush To Marry (Sify)
– Here’s the astrological explanation:
it’s because
“Jupiter and Venus are not
too near the sun.” Remember that, before you tie the knot, or
fight the
traffic…
‘Tis
The Season, To Get Married (WebIndia)
– It’s happening again, after
a long drought, a run on nuptials as this holiday season also yields
particularly starry marital prospects…15,000 ceremonies on
one
day alone, the roads are
blocked…
Fortunetelling
Rampant In Communist Refuge (Chosun.com)
– Starving poor buy
consultations instead of rice, but government prefers it to
religion…
Blame
It
On The
Moon (Anchorage
Daily News)
– All kinds of stuff
about the Moon, from fact to fancy, scientific theory to real
estate…
Astrologers
Lobby, Late-Born Problems (Pittsburgh
Live, AP)
– A couple of
astro-curiosities turn up in this Associated Press catchall…
Burma
Flight: An Astrologer’s
Dark Vision
(N.Y.
Times News
Service)
– The timed chart for the
sudden, massive exodus reveals
a fixed, cadent grand
cross (Sun in 12th) with the degree of the national Saturn at the MC.
An
astrologer actually chose this dark and
painful chart…
Burma
Move Was Astrological (Boxun
News)
– Alarmed Taiwanese report
on nation’s overnight move of capital, lock, stock, and
barrel…all on strongman's personal
astrologer’s advice…
Soothsayer
Orders New Capital (Times
Online, U.K.)
– Brutal Burmese
dictator deserts Rangoon overnight, moves government to a new bastion
according to the
stars…
French
Soccer
Team Wins By Stars (BBC
Sports)
– Coach Raymond Domenech
regularly keeps an eye on the sky, distrusts Scorpios, avoids
Leos…
NASA
Beats Astrologer In Moscow Court (iol.co,
South
Africa) – It was the very
definition of a frivolous suit, and a disgrace for astrology, but
she’ll appeal
it, anyway…
A
Waterlogged World By 2012 (Times
Of Oman)
– The coming of WaterWorld is not far
away, according to forecaster who predicted hurricanes Katrina and
Rita…
Grave-robbers
Cursed For Three Generations (New
Kerala)
– Hong Kong extortionists
will pay a celestial price says Chinese astrologer…
The
Astrologer Who Wouldn't Die
(People’s
Democracy)
– The Indian
Communist Party says it was all a capitalist media dodge…no
argument here…
Race
Drivers Matched By The Stars (Rally
Racing Live)
– Driver team
compatibility is analyzed by a pro astrologer and behavioral specialist
to find
winning combos…
Champ
Batter Seeks Famed Astrologer’s Help
(Daily
Times)
– Actually it’s his mom
hiring the consultant, hoping for a comeback for her cricket star
son…
Planets
Say Bush Scandal Beginning Of End
(Chronogram)
– Astrologer/journalist
Eric Francis tugs at the unraveling skein atop America’s
political plutocracy…
Pluto
Has Three Moons (NASA)
–
The Hubble Telescope spots two
more companions to the dark planet...
Astrology
Is
Scientific
Theory, Courtroom Told (New
Scientist)
– It may be, at least
when compared with the likes of Intelligent Design...
Astrologer
Forecasts His Own Death (DNA
India)
– Fortunately for him, he
got it wrong…
Old
Takers,
Odd Questions
(ExpressIndia)
– Astrology’s not just
for the young folks anymore, the old fools seem to be taking to it as
well…
Fortunetelling
Goes High-Tech (Taipei
Times)
– More about the variety
of oracles now on the cell phone, subverting temple
attendance…
Youth
Severs Hand On Astrologer's Advice (WebIndia)
– Well, he said he was an
astrologer, anyway…but you can never be too
careful…
Eclipse
Will Haunt The World Until December (Asian
Age) –
Eclipses are even dicier
when mixed with Jupiter and a sign change (if you use Vedic, not
Western
zodiac, of course)…and then there’s Mars at a
critical
degree…
World
Cup
Outlook
Improves For India (India
Times)
– Why should astrologers
dabble in disasters when there’s sports to speculate
upon?…
Astrologer
Foresaw Quake
(Sunday
Tribune,
South Africa) – And
lots of other things, too, including the end of the world. But
that’s still
down the road apiece, with a lot of suffering to get through
first…plus, a
laundry list of disasters…
Lunar
Eclipse Could Spell More Disaster (The
Peninsula,
Qatar) – Astrologer say
he told you about the quake and there’s more trouble to
come…
Clouds
Predict Earthquakes (Times
Of India)
– You didn’t have to
look all the way to the stars, a peek at the clouds would have
sufficed. It’s a
whole ‘nother
system…
The
Pagan Moon
God
The Terroists [Sic]
Follow (Dafka.org)
– “Was Allah The Moon God of
Ancient Arab Pagan?” this multi-ethnic pro-Israel group asks.
Indeed, we might
ask…our offbeat astro-pick for
Rosh Hashana…
Eating
During Eclipses Poses No Harm, Say Scientists (New
Kerela) –
Reassuring…and to think, we never thought to
ask…
New
10th
Planet Xena Has A Moon (Reuters)
– It’s
named Gabrielle, after the TV princess’s sidekick.
Airport
Opened By The Stars (Business
Day)
– Bangkok’s new airport
was opened at exactly 9:17 AM, Sep. 29, picked by Thai astrology.
It’s got a
grand fixed cross exactly on the angles (including the Vertex conj. the
MC!)…would you land
there?…
Moonlighting
As An Astrologer (ExpressIndia)
–
Engineer donates his
astrology profits to underprivileged kids in India…how many
of
us can take credit for
that?…
Business
Bottoms As Stars Frown (NewKerela)
– Trade tanks in Jaipur as
the “two weeks of the dead” inch by…
Bollywood
Defies The Dead (Glamsham.com)
– Film
producers in hot pursuit
of profits, despite two week inasuspicious period…good
business
or bad karma?…
An
Astrology Fetish (Cybernoon)
– A new compulsion for the
books – you can do it by the stars, just don’t do
it in
town…it’s a Bollywood
scandal!…
Man
Sues For
Bad Horoscope (Aversion.com)
– Well, of course he
lost, the arrogant Aries. So probably will the Russian
astrologer suing
NASA, though
she’ll cash in on it
despite, no doubt...
Parrot
Astrology In Decline (NewsTodayNet)
–
An ancient divinatory art,
involving astrology and a parrot, has fallen on hard
times…including a sad
example, and
a delightful animated
version…
Jordan
Panics Over Earthquake Prediction (WebIndia,
UPI)
– Schoolchildren are
holding evacuation drills after astrologer foresees monster
quake…
Doctor
Dire Depicts Doom (Times
of Oman)
– Want the details on
your imminent death? Consult this guy – he touts a
traumatizing
track record.
What astrologers generally don’t do, or won’t admit
to…probably
shouldn’t…he does politics, too…
Sun
Has Binary Partner, May Effect Earth (PhysOrg.com) –
Plato’s Great Year
cycle, precession of the equinoxes, may have another
explanation…beyond the Age Of Aquarius and lots more
archaeoastronomy from the Binary
Institute…
Two
More Oddball “Planets” Described (San Francisco
Chronicle) – The folks at
Caltech, who brought you Xena, now reveal Santa and Easterbunny.
They’re all
Pluto-sized or even bigger. Plus, more with links on the latest here
(Spaceref)
Saturn
Afflicts
Oakland A’s (OaklandClubhouse.com)
– And now a detailed view of the West Coast team from Andrea
Mallis …fixed
signs again take the hit. Get used to it.
Asteroid
Ceres Is
“Mini-Planet” (SpaceflightNow)
– Space telescope reveals the mama of all asteroids is more like
us than we
thought.
India
Gets
Multiple Prognoses (Midday) –
Mumbai has a choice of dire
predictions from a card reader, a numerologist, and an astrologer.
No
Time For
Nuptials, Say Stars (TimesOfIndia) – After this
year’s
earlier
marriage record of 100,000 couples in a single
day, now
there’s a
maddening dry spell.
Sports
Astrologer
Looks At The
Mets (MostValuableNetwork.com)
– The Mets pitching
staff is heavy with Scorpio, afflicted by Saturn, starting of course
with Pedro
Martinez…
Planets
Predict “Polar Coaster” Winter (MSNBC, AP)
– Farmers’ Almanac forecasts
radical temperature fluctuations and a brutally cold winter in the
Northeast,
so button up your overcoat…
Coming
Mars
Approach Spells Trouble, But Good For Some (Sunday
Tribune, South Africa) – For Scorpio or Aries it could be a
boost, but
otherwise, duck…
The
Times Considers The New “Tenth
Planet”
(N.Y.
Times, Taipei Times) – The consensus among astrologers, as
reported in this
fashion
section think piece, is wait and see, as the discussion
continues…
Asteroid
Dust Cools Climate (ABC Australia)
– When space visitors
destruct, down goes the thermometer, according to Defense Department
notes on
recent meteor strike. And you can wipe it off your windowsill…
The
Spinning Sky Below (E-Commerce
Times,
AP, Science) – Like
the planets above, the earth’s core is rotating beneath your feet
– faster than
the ground you’re standing on. We just noticed it…
When
Galaxies Collide (Universe Today)
– In the constellation
Pisces, two galaxies are colliding – or, in fact, already have.
We’re next, a
head-on with Andromeda… “This is quite scary,” says
UK astronomer. Well, not that
scary…
Pick
Winning Stocks With Compatibility Horoscope (Pressbox,
U.K.) – If your chart fits with the company you’re
investing in, you could be a
winner…a venerable technique, Vedic style…
Pundits
Ponder Planet’s Portents (Newind Press)
– Astrologers palaver
over pregnant possibilities of new addition to the solar system. What
is its
meaning in the horoscope? A planetary perplex pending
perspicuity…
Murietta,
CA To Fingerprint Astrologers (AP —
SanLuisObispo Tribune) – You’ll
have to be over 18 to get your horoscope, and your astrologer will be
in the
lineup…
“A
Frog Goes To An Astrologer, and…” (Cybernoon)
– At the end of a thoughtful
column about age and independence, the best astrology joke, ever…
Business
Booming For New Age Astrologers (NDTV) –
Prices
are rising for
astrologers in India, where the US outsources its major tech business.
Are we
behind the curve, missing something?…
Your
Corporate Zodiac Sign (Economic Times)
– This is “Popstrology”
for suits and geeks, both…humorous imitation is the greatest
form of flattery.
If you ever doubted that astrology is fundamental to popular culture,
doubt no
more…
Crystal
Ball
Burns Down Flat (London Times)
– Amateur psychic’s device
focused the sun’s rays and, well, you can guess the rest…
What,
Really, Is A Planet? (San Francisco
Chronicle) – With three
new “planets” discovered in the last month, just what are
we looking at? Or, in
another phrase, What’s
In A Name? (TechCentralStation)
Astrologers,
Scientists
Fight Over Deluge (Sify.com)
– Was it retro Mercury,
Saturn, and the Sun that conspired to create “Torrential
Tuesday’s” 37 inches
of rain?
Fortunetelling
Laws Get The Boot (St. Petersburg Times)
– Outdated
ordinances against everything from astrology to traveling medicine
shows may
soon become history in Tampa/St. Pete.
Black
Dog Will Ward Off Saturn’s Ills (WebIndia)
– Saturn in
Leo getting you down already? Get a black dog, that’ll fix it.
Prices for black
labs, other dark dogs, skyrocket…no, we’re not
kidding…
Nighttime
Birth
Risk Higher
(Mercury
News)
– Is your natal Sun below the
horizon? You’re lucky you made it past the first month…
Redneck
Astrology Signs (Nascar.com)
– Got Okrah rising, Possum
in the sixth house ? Aw, shucks, you must be a Moon Pie…
New
Planet Discovered (NASA) -- The object "...is guaranteed bigger
than Pluto," said Michael E. Brown, a professor of
planetary astronomy at Caltech (see technical details here).
But…but…we’ll keep you covered (N.Y. Times) as the details of
this too-frequent kind of
announcement evolves…
Study:
Taurus Ranks First Among Landlords (Easier Property
News, U.K.) – Among
20,000 buy-to-rent property investors, Taurus trumps the lot. Cancer
takes
last…
Galaxy
Arms Trigger Ice Ages (San Francisco
Chronicle) – This cosmic
chestnut is being brought back to life by more recent evidence,
scientific
speculation. Icy cosmic dust. brrrrr...
Stock
Market Outlook: Stars Say Don’t Buy (Forbes) – Arch
Crawford’s bearish take
bears listening…it’s been spot on so far this year. As
usual, his wary eye is
on Mars…
NASA
A No-Show
In
Astrology Suit (Russian
News and
Information Agency) –
The case is postponed, again, due to “absence
of
representation from NASA." It’s silly
enough,
do we have to make it sillier? Isn’t that how you actually lose…?
“Popstrology” (Tacoma, WA News-Tribune)
– Pop stars/songs formed
your character
at an early age, just like...astrology? Oh, why not? It’s almost
as much fun as your birthday
headlines…
Electional
Babies
(Hindustan Times)
– Doctors are being induced
to induce births to get the best natal horoscope.
Plant
An
Astro-Tree, Earn Health And Prosperity (newKerala)–
In
Kerala, a sacred forest thrives among the Mansions of the Moon.
Astrologer
Fleeced By Faker (NewInd
Press -- requires
registration)
– He should have checked
his horoscope first. Another, rather variant version here (Newstodaynet).
India is loving this one…
Astrology
Institutes Flourish In
“Star-Struck” City (ExpressIndia) –
Some courses take only a month! There oughtta be a law…
Cell
Phones Predict Disaster (NewindPress -- requires
registration)
– Hundreds totally bummed out
by dire cellphone astrology warnings, at 9 rupees a pop.
Mobile
Pundits' Planetary Pull (ExpressIndia) – Comfort is
just a phone call
away for a new generation, worry psychiatrists.
Stars
Guide Race Horse’s Career (The Observer,
U.K.)– Phoenix Reach has
risen like a phoenix and is reaching for the stars…
I
Predicted
London Blasts (rediff.com)
– Delhi astrologer says he foresaw U.K. terrorist
attacks, along with everywhere else, of
course…next up, U.S.
invades Iran…now that’s an astro-test, so stay
tuned…
Paris
Next? (Ynet
News) – Tunisian astrologer also predicted it, and lots more.
Coming, the
Eiffel Tower. Predicts aging, critically ill king will die this
year…could we
have an actual surprise, please?…maybe so, as he says Bush
will be assassinated in
2005 (Al-Bawaba, Jordan)
Astrologer
Hangs In Through Ups and Downs (Cybernoon.com)
– Rags to riches stargazer is philosophical about rise to fame,
loyalty to clients.
Of
Planets, Health and Tibetan Medicine (Phayul.com)
– “Astro-medicine” is flourishing in Tibet at campus
staffed by 250 for
six-year course of study.
Mars
Attack! (Times
Of India) – As the Red
Planet closes in
this August, this august New Delhi newspaper investigates the meaning
of it all…
Beware
The Mars Hoax! (NASA) – The government maintains,
despite the rumors, that the coming close encounter with Mars will not
be quite
THAT close…
My
stars! What has NASA done? (Cleveland
Plain Dealer) – The Dealer sends up astrology in one breath, then
when you click to the second page, it asks for your birth data! Talk
about
tongue in cheek…
Will
Monsoon
Be On Time?
(India Express
News Service) Ask an agricultural
professor, of astrology. See more on rain below...
Rain
Scientists Decipher Planetary Messages (Times
of India) It’s what’s above the clouds
that sets the
clouds in motion. British astrological weather sage Carolyn
Egan
agrees (BeliefNet)
Astrologer’s
Horse Headed For Winner’s Circle (U.K Telegraph) -- Mystic Meg’s mare
Astrocharm is charmed right from the starting gate…
Russian
Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet
Impact (BBC)
– Marina Bai follows
through on her threat (see May story below). Her predictive
tools, she claims, have been permanently damaged...
Arch
Crawford On Financial Astrology (Yahoo Financial) One of the original
modern financial astrologers, an old friend, talks about how he got
there...
Astrologer
Opens Psychic Museum With Uri Geller (Yorkshire
Post, U.K.) You haven't really
arrived until you're in a museum...
Sky
Lore To Save Trees (Business
Standard) The Sun, Moon, stars, and
Zodiac are put to work in the interest of ecology.
Mystery
Treasure Box Linked To Stars
(Russian
Ren TV) – Russian
gold, silver, and jeweled rarities have
turned up that were created by 16th century Kaliningrad astrologers and
magicians.
Ancient
Board Game Predicted Future (Korea
Times) The popular game of Bakuk
was used as tool for heavenly
observations, to predict floods.
100,000
Couples Wed By Stars (WebIndia123) –
All in one auspicious day, at
their astrologers’ advice…worth waiting for…
The
Future of Mobile Internet on the Cards (Sourcewire.com)
–
After sweeping the East, cell phone fortunes creep closer, soon to be
in the
U.K…
Indian
“OnStar” Mobile Service (Business Standard) –
120 online astrologers await your emergency call for help…
Saddam
Consulted Astrologers, Who Remain Mum (Times Of India)
– For all the good it did him…perhaps because he came from
ominous fortuneteller
roots (Toronto Free
Press)…
Lottery
Winner Saw It In The Cards (London Mirror)
– and that’s just one of six ways to pick the lottery, if
you believe what you read in the Mirror…
Searching
Solutions in Stars,
Directions, Designs (ExpressIndia)
A
handful of rice and sugar can do as much as a horoscope, or can it?
Liverpool
Footballers Are Star-Crossed (TimesOnLine,
UK) – It’s an astrological uphill battle in Istanbul for
champion soccer team.
Unless, of course, it’s the
other way round, according to a
host of oracles. Breaking news:
Liverpool won...
Astrology
In Her Future (Cybernoon) –
Major in Tarot, do post-grad in astrology…
Astrologer
To
Sue NASA Over Comet Plans (ABC
News) Only in
Russia…
Sun-Sign
Or Blood-Sign? (NBC) To many
Koreans, the key to their personality
lies not in their stars but in their blood type. They use
it for dating.
Qualified
Astrologers Decry Charlatans (WebIndia123)
The club of qualified astrologers, most of whom have
degrees or diplomas in astrology and are associated with the Indian
Council for
Astrological Sciences (ICAS), have offered a reward of Rs.100,000 to
any
astrologer who can give an instant solution to a problem given by them.
In
The Light Of The Moon (News.com.au)
As the moon waxes and wanes, your emotions
may respond. Denise Cullen finds out how to become more in tune with
the lunar
cycle.
Dr.
Joyce
Brothers Looks Down Her Nose (Seattle
Post Intelligencer) -- Thought Dr.
Joyce was your friend? Now she’s telling people how to kiss you
off with the
rest of the loonies…
Schoolkids’
Astrology Project (Seneca County Advertiser-Tribune)
-- Actually, we get
letters all the time from kids who are doing these kinds of school
astro-projects, asking for research help. There’s hope for the
future…
Tabloid
Picks
Up Lady Di’s Astrologer (MSNBC)
-- Right on eclipse time, Lady Di comes
back again, this time in the form of her astrologer…
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